For The Better

Nearly every year from where I come, we would always have at least one hell of a big storm; whether it be hurricanes, nor’easters or whatever else might blow in. As always they would blow off the roofs, flood the streets, and well damn near destroy everything. The homes that once littered the water ways would be gone and or at least pretty well slammed. We never looked in the days proceeding the storms as a time to stop. No. As long as we had each other; that was all that mattered. We would rebuild again. This time better; for in the end we knew we had each other and that was all that mattered.

A while back I met this guy Hans. Hans was unlike most of the other guys I had ever hung with before. He blew into my life as quickly as certain storms come off the water. All you can do is pray and hold-on as you try to make it through. If you’re lucky, you won’t go down with the ship.

I met Hans off of one of the more popular chat-rooms. He seemed absolutely amazing to talk with at first. Both of us were what my friend Nooft would have called social whores. Right off the bat we would talk for hours at a time. It didn’t matter about what. We would talk about anything and everything; though almost always it would come back around to his current state of affairs in the wake of his ex-. In truth, I felt sorry for the guy. There has always been a part of me that just can’t help but to empathize with others, even the most unusual of strangers.

As time went on his quirks began to show-up. All that he ever wanted to do was to talk about his ex-. Honestly it came to a point where anytime I attempted to shift the conversation to something more positive, well he would seem astronomically offended. Well, there was one thing, one thing that would get him off the subject of his ex-; and that was his extracurricular activities.

Actually it was kind of exciting to hear about his adventures. Not even in my wildest of dreams do I believe I could have been as wild, carefree, and downright dangerous as he was in his spare time; nor do I think I would want too. Hans was the type of guy that when he entered a bar had every straight guy and queer staring at him; or at least he thought he was that guy. I never knew whether his sexual exploitations and dynamics were true or not, mostly because I have a policy of not sleeping with my friends; but I did always here that he was an amazing top. Being around Hans provided me a chance to see into another world that I would have never afforded myself. Indeed I am thankful for Hans for providing this “new” gay such mentoring. I learned so much from him.

As the weeks progressed, Hans became ever so depressed. His fascination with his ex- became ever more intense. To the point Hans lived in a state of self-induced torture. So with his permission I went to speak to his ex- to ask if there was ever a chance the two could be reconciled or the ex- may offer him some olive branch of peace. The answer from him was a resounding no.

The storm blew in from out of nowhere. Hans erupted in sheer anger for what he had asked of me to do. Within a matter of moments our friendship had been destroyed. I had not returned with the answer that he wanted; and because of that he lashed out. Whoever once made the joke about gay guys being drama queens was right; or at least in Hans case. Though in truth, I cannot say I did not see this coming. Honestly I appreciated a chance for the drama to be over with. As quickly as he had blown into my life, so to was he departed with a wake in his trail.

Life sense Hans has been like living in the aftermath of a storm. Some things got leveled and some things got damaged. I have heard it said that people come in to our lives for a reason. They bring to us something we must learn. I have heard it said that there are people who are like the leaves of a tree. They bring us joy and shade for season, but in time they fall away. In this affair I saw what was a leaf and believed it could be something more. Sadly I was wrong. Hans did indeed bring many valuable things into my life. And in truth, I have been changed for the better because of him. But in the end he was simply a leaf who was destined to fall away. For now, in the wake, I shall rebuild just as we would in the wake of any other storm; just this time it shall be for the better.